Friday, April 7, 2017

Memory

Banyak cara yang dilakukan perempuan untuk mencoba menghilangkan rasa patah hati. Ada yang shopping gila-gilaan, seperti kerasukan Rebecca Bloomwood di Confessions of a Shopaholic, mencoba memindahkan rasa sakit dari hati ke tabungan. Ada yang memilih untuk traveling, entah itu ke pantai, hiking ke gunung, atau ke amusement park untuk menaiki permainan yang memacu adrenalin, hingga bisa berteriak sekencang-kencangnya. Ada juga yang memutuskan untuk memotong rambut hingga pendek, people called it the haircut-break up.

Aku tidak memilih ketiganya. Pilihanku adalah melacurkan diri ke makanan-makanan enak. Bukan karena lapar, tapi buatku, ini adalah salah satu cara untuk tidak mengingat rasa sakit itu.

Seperti saat ini, aku yang sedang berada di salah satu restaurant Korea. Sendiri, duduk di bagian outdoor menikmati se-bucket hot chicken wings yang berjumlah sepuluh buah, yang kini tersisa tinggal tiga, sambil menatap pepohonan yang daunnya begitu hijau, yang tak memiliki bunga sama sekali.

"Aku paling suka deh nyesap bumbu di tulang ayam ini."
Kata-kata itu kemudian terngiang jelas di pikiranku. Kata-kata yang selalu kamu ucapkan ketika kita menghabiskan hampir setiap Sabtu di sini.

Dan memori yang lainnya secara beruntun memenuhi pikiranku. Tujuanku untuk tidak mengingat menjadi terbalik. Aku justru mengingat semuanya, karena kesalahan yang memilih tempat dengan penuh jejak-jejak bersamanya.

"The more we try to forget someone we love, the more painful letting go will become."

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Live Boldly, Live Well, Just Live... *

source : click here


In the late 20's, sometimes I wonder, where do I wanna go? What am I going to do in this life?

It's amazing thing seeing women who choose to settle to one person, called it's marriage. They have no afraid with some issues that will be faced as a spouse, like children, financial, or every simple thing of differences like where-do-you-put-your-things. So, it doesn't mean that I don't want to be married. I want and I will. Someday, hope in next one or two year. I don't know, because only God who has the best plan. But for now, probably, I am too comfortable with myself. I love being free without someone will disallow me doing something that I like, without someone control about myself.

As a female who claimed self as independent and feminist, I want to be free. I want to do whatever I want to do without take care about what people would said. In a half year, I want to travel around my country, Indonesia. If I have enough money, I want also to go to other country. Do solo traveling to explore city to city. Enjoy their tourism, like beach or mountain; enjoy their unique culinary; socialize with the urban people, and so many things that I want to do that I've not ever done yet.

I want to fulfill myself with grateful and happiness that only be determined only by myself.


*the title is quoted by Me Before You's tagline.